Intelligence Theorist Gifts

"When you lie about yourself, is it to appear closer to or farther away from the middle of the bell curve?"

"National security adviser"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Sigmund Freud.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"Bonk!"

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"That's hardly necessary!"

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

'More government surveillance!'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Legalish

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

Davos.

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Government Intelligence

The EP-21 spy plane.

Max Weber

'So much for Newton. Now, as for Einstein...'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

NSA - 'Start Leakin'.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners