Intellectual Pet Owner Gifts

"Tonight... Hemingway."

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Micro-chipped cat talks in binary.

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

When Pugs dream.

Cat Show - Sheds Most

"Yes, I did use your credit card to pay for a computer and phone. Just how long did you expect that ball of yarn to entertain me."

Online Dog Dating

Cat builds a castle in it's litter tray.

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?"

"I happen."

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

'When you said you took your pet for a walk each morning I thought you meant a DOG.'

Content Cat vs Cat Content

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Cat says to cat using a computer: 'Are you causing trouble in those dog chat-rooms again?'

A man and his dog

'Heal!' 'Heel!'

Dog listening to ''Paws For Thought'' on the radio.

101 uses of a dead cat: wall decoration

"Whew ... now he needs some roll-on deodorant."

A self satisfied cat appears to know answers to all questions

'I taught him that being housebroken is not so bad.'