Academically Inclined Pet Owner Gifts

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Scarcity

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Max Weber

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

K9 Literati.

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Cat reading Rommel biography.

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

"Tonight... Hemingway."

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'That's it?'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Emile Durkheim

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Preschools for Dogs

"They all failed?! What on earth was the question?" "How do you fund a university?"

"School is loverly this time of year."

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

"I started out by learning a few counting tricks, then loved it so much I now have a PhD in theoretical mathematics..."

'First, you have to get their attention.'

Dogs are in line waiting to take the 'S.A.T' test..

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

'We're WAVERING between a career for him in politics, medicine or the law.'

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'