Intellectual Diner Gifts

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Bad for you but to die for

'I think I'll go home and eat'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"For drinks or dinner?"

Dali Chooses a Lobster

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"Fresh pepper?"

Zagat Rated.

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"It's made with real angel hair."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

How To Turn A Closed-Down Nuclear Reactor Into A Theme Restaurant: A Master Plan.

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

'Decisions, decisions!'

" 'Tonight's Specials,' a poem."

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"Baldo, why are you eating dessert first?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

Theories expounded