Insurance Reform Gifts

Dr Obama

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"I just..."

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Healthcare declaration

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Health Care Crisis table.

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Healthy Patients Only

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'