Insurance Quizzers Gifts

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

The Public Option

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'