Insurance Quizzers Pillows

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

Where HMO's are headed

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."