Insurance Policy Pundit Gifts

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

'I'm just going to give you a mild sedative, because your medical insurance doesn't cover the good stuff.'

"Why's your life policy for 97 year olds so cheap?"

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'It's cheaper than gas.'

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."

Torturing the English Language

Honest Boris

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."