Policy Pundit Gifts

"And this is where we adjust the interest rate."

"No need. I have diplomatic immunity."

'I think you misunderstood. The million dollar umbrella policy only covers you for claims involving an umbrella.'

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'To put it simply, our policy just isn't complicated enough.'

'Kinda makes you wonder why we even bother to meet.'

"Quick, get me an ambulance and some Wite-Out."

TRUST: 'Are you telling me that none of you knows what it means?'

'The scores for our latest standardized tests are disappointing. We have to articulate a coherent policy of obfuscation.'

Freedom of Information Act - Frequently ducked questions.

"Give me a couple years, and I can answer your simple question about the new regulations."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"'Honesty is the best policy.' O.K.! Now, what's the second-best policy?"

'Your medical problems are more complicated than I thought. I am going to refer you to another doctor, who has more medical insurance than I have.'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"Remember, you weren't hired to think-you were hired because you have opposable thumbs."

'Public/Private Park etc'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'I agree, Sims, 'honesty is the best policy'. It's just not our policy.'

'What we need is a tax on stupid ideas. The revenue out of Washington alone would balance the budget in two years.'

Complied With All Government Regulations

'I have an open-door policy, but only until the air conditioner is repaired.'

"The number of youngsters getting involved in petty crime has gone through the roof!"

'Don't worry, the money we're throwing at the economy is not US taxpayer money. It's borrowed money.'

"Now promise not to laugh when I read you the fine print in the policy."

"And finally doctor, can you think of any areas where spending could be cut without damaging patiet care?"

'Your insurance plan covers the 80% of you that's healthy.'

'You Brexit You Pays For It"

The EU as a sinking ship.

'They moved our industry accross the Mexican border,and all we get is the smoke!'

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'

'It makes them more acceptable now that they are part of government policy.'