Politically Correct Pundit Gifts

"Your grass-fed beef - are the cows forced to eat the grass?"

"Have you ever met an Inuk, Sadie?"

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

'Since your crime was so politically correct, I'm sentencing you to a multicultural prison.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Obama Healthcare.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"