Insurance Policy Holder Gifts

'Your reaping index is 6.2' - 'Is that good or bad?' - 'It's very good...' - 'Well, that's a relief!' - '...for the insurance company... bu-wa-ha-ha!' - 'Oh.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'Wait. . . wouldn't the Golden Harp be covered under the giant's homeowner's insurance?'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

Whoa, you're right! I didn't know we even sold dragon insurance.

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

Misread medical policy.

'I'm sorry to tell that your husband's coverage has expired.'

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

"Thank God we're insured"

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'That takes care of health, life, homeowner's, and car -- now, how about some alien abduction insurance?'

'Welcome! Do you have any questions? Concerns? Pre-existing conditions?'

'Well, you have an excellent life policy -- now, would you be interested in some lifestyle insurance?'

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

'Wow, one hundred knee reconstructions: You're going to make me way richer!'

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

"Don't worry. Insurance should cover it."

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

'Whoa, doc! Are those expensive, brand-name leeches? My insurance only covers generics.'

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"I told my wife this place didn't offer full medical benefits!"

"Relax, Frank. It says here you can keep your own doctor."