Insurance Policy Holder Gifts

'Your reaping index is 6.2' - 'Is that good or bad?' - 'It's very good...' - 'Well, that's a relief!' - '...for the insurance company... bu-wa-ha-ha!' - 'Oh.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

Misread medical policy.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

"Thank God we're insured"

'That takes care of health, life, homeowner's, and car -- now, how about some alien abduction insurance?'

'Wow, one hundred knee reconstructions: You're going to make me way richer!'

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

'Welcome! Do you have any questions? Concerns? Pre-existing conditions?'

'Well, you have an excellent life policy -- now, would you be interested in some lifestyle insurance?'

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

"Don't worry. Insurance should cover it."

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"Relax, Frank. It says here you can keep your own doctor."

"I told my wife this place didn't offer full medical benefits!"

"You need a heart transplant - but your insurance only covers two aspirins a day."

'Whoa, doc! Are those expensive, brand-name leeches? My insurance only covers generics.'