Insurance Planner Gifts

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

European currency on the edge.

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Graph Your Relatives!

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'