Insurance Planner Prints

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

European currency on the edge.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Graph Your Relatives!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Obama Healthcare.

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'