Insurance Advisor Prints

'Is he well enough to look at his hospital bill, doctor?'

Plan 1, Plan 2.

Medicare tries to control the shark: " I feel a slight shift taking place."

Caution: Safety Net Being Redesigned.

'You have primary insurance and secondary insurance. I like that in a patient.'

'With your budget and insurance, Mr. Hefler, maybe you should consider this less invasive alternative to stomach stapling.'

New Medical System

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Just go with the workflow."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'