Insurance Industry Buffs Gifts

'Mr. Dumont, I'm sure you can understand our reluctance to sell flood insurance to anyone who says they're from a town called 'High River'.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Uncle Sam and health care.

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

Knight Supplies

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

"Your condition appears to have deteriorated considerably since your last cheque bounced."