Insurance Claim Comic Gifts

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

So...who is your provider ?

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'Which health plan are you on?'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

Slipping Insurance $5.

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

"Any pre-existing conditions?"

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

"No, I don't think our insurance covers alien invasions. Why?"

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

"I'm afraid our healthcare plan only covers the first five litters."

'The health plan will cover you and up to three dwarves.'

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough