Insurance Agent Gifts

"First of all, there was a bee in the car."

'It's all here in teh fine print. You're not covered against huffing and puffing.'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

"Did the three pigs have enough insurance to rebuild their home?"

Insurance co. claims department.

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Look dear - it's a get-well-or-else card from the insurance company.'

'I think you misunderstood. The million dollar umbrella policy only covers you for claims involving an umbrella.'

'I'm sorry, but stress caused by trying to figure out your health insurance is not covered by it.'

"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."

'Rock, you I can cover. Scissors, you're too big a risk.'

"Laughter is the best medicine, but your insurance only covers chuckles, snickers and giggles."

'If you look at paragraph 23 section 12 you'll see that your comprehensive life insurance does not in fact cover the thanksgiving holiday period.'

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

It was at times like this he realised the value of a more personal insurance service.

'Heard you had a fire last night.' 'Sh-h-h! It's tonight.'

"Risk! What do you mean, risk?"

"You can rest assured, Mrs. Wilson, that your husband will receive the best care known to medical coverage."

Home Owner's Insurance Adjuster of the Year

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'

'Your health plan covers everything but your deductible is equal to your net worth.'

'Why'd we deny your claim? I'll have to check our records.'

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales

'The policy pays out in the case of accidental death, or if you can make it look like an accident.'

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Quick, get me an ambulance and some Wite-Out."

"Very scary, Jennifer—does anyone else have an H.M.O. horror story?"

"I'm afraid we can't insure you Mr Smith. It appears you carry the gene for insurance fraud"

I can write eight life policies naming you as beneficiary...

I think the surgery went well. I'll know more when I hear from the billing department.

'I've had a chance to look over your policy and I'm afraid you're not covered.'

'Are you prepared should one of you melt?'

"Laughter is the best medicine, which is fortunate, since that's all our health plan now offers."