Insurance Salesperson Gifts

"Is this seat taken?"

'Whole life will cover all 9 lives. The term policy will only cover you for lives lost during the term.'

'Just as I thought. You've outgrown your coverage.'

"It's our insurance guy. He says our insurance needs insurance."

"No physical is required."

'You can never have enough insurance, which is why we offer this 'You Can Never Have Enough Insurance' policy.'

'Be very careful, it might be an insurance salesman.'

Man sells recall insurance outside car dealership.

'Yes, sir, most accidents happen around the campfire...'

'Portnoy will try any gimmick to sell life insurance.'

'No, asbestos paint doesn't qualify you for a discount on fire insurance.'

'Sorry, Dr. Albert left our practice and is now making more money selling mal-practice insurance.'

'Are you completely covered in case you get hit by a coconut?'

"Good news, ma'am. I'm not here to case the joint for a later burglary. I just want to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Is this a good time to discuss your health insurance needs?'

"What would become of your family, Mr. Goliath, if, for instance, some little kid killed you with a slingshot?"

"Morning, sir. Can I interest you in a life insurance policy this morning?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Great. Obviously I can kiss my sales target and my commission good bye."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."