Auto Insurance Agent Gifts

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

'Do you cover the deductible?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"Sire, they also want dental."