Insurance Adjuster Gifts

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

Home Owner's Insurance Adjuster of the Year

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'Never mind all the King's horses and all the King's men. Get me 'personal injuries direct'!'

'Adjuster of the Year' reads a Sports Illustrated at his desk that has two boxes, 'Claims Denied' and 'Claims Paid.' The first has an over flowing stack of paper in it, the other a single sheet of paper.

Insurance claim on Grandma

'Insurance Adjuster Rejector of the Year' 'Claims Delayed and Claims Paid Promptly'

'Yes, well I'm not going anywhere until I've done a detailed sketch of the incident.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

'I made my money the old-fashioned way. I used a defective product that entitled me to compensation.'

'Mitch, the Insurance Claim Adjuster, above a sea of fog' - Tribute to Caspar David Friedrich.

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Secretary to lawyer: 'Ad per the head-on collision settlement, the insurance company is playing chicken.'

"Liability issues, Sire."

I bet those are accident reports.

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

Drink Driving

'Now wait a minute...who's at fault here?'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

Caution Tripping Hazard.

"Act of God? Not a problem—we sue God."

'Insurance Tactic No. 472: Bully the victim into not making a claim.'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

We were asked to pay out for a fire started when a dog urinated on a Christmas tree.

Compensation Accident Claims

"We should have expected it....As soon as we start to tackle whiplash scams they come back with a new twist..."

"I've got repetitive strain injury after filling in my compensation forms..."

"It's not even my fault. It's a driverless car and went out for a joyride."

Hospital Admissions - "The hospital isn't admitting any liability this morning, gentlemen."

'It states here you filed an accident claim everyday at your other job.'

'It's HIS fault, he was doing the speed limit!'

The Bad News: Fred just signed away his claim. The Good News: The insurance adjuster just qualified for a bonus.

'I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance policy clearly states we don't cover acts of God.'

'My insurance company says I have to get three estimates.'