Authority Adjuster Gifts

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

Skeptic Tank.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Off Duty.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"Are you talking down to me, Evans? Because I don't like it when people talk down to me."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'Something has spooked the prairie dogs.'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

Coming to a consensus.

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"As board members, we need to speak with one voice, I'm suggesting Donald Duck."

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

Continental marshal

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

Know Know

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

The boss is always right.