Insulation Gifts

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

The Art Student.

They hated me.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

The Artist

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Cariactures

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'No ice.'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Extreme miming"

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

Orchestra.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Bubble gum leaves

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Pastries and Candy

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Honest Vending

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

Apple Pie Abduction

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'