Strategic Insulter Gifts

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

My first mistake.

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

'The defence is ahead on points. Prosecution's only hope now is for a knockout.'

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

Sly Fox

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"It's time to break up the company!!"

'And this is our strategic planning department...'

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

On the Eve of his epic defeat by 'Deep Blue', Garry Kasparove awoke to an ominous warning,

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

Chess cleaner

"We should be growing in leaps and bounds with all the fertilizer that flies around in our sales meetings."

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

Chess boxing

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

'Company wargames weekend 1986.'

"I didn't see you at camouflage practice today, soldier!"

'To prepare for our hostile takeover, Bentley here, has arranged for us to have an old-fashioned snowball fight.'

'Shred any negative documentation I made on our new sales strategy.'

'I'd like you to go work for our competition. It's the only way I know to bring them to their knees.'

"So, it's agreed then - we'll sleep on it and decide in the morning."

'I'll give step by step directions.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

'I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months. It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without.'

'Did you notice how he was suddenly interested in our sales pitch when I mentioned a substantial bribe?'

'Why are you so rude?'

"My company uses a copycat strategy."