Playful Insulter Gifts

'Why are you so rude?'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

The Main Types of Cheese

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Mice Cream

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

Jumble Sale

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

A woman has mini scarecrows in here flower garden.

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

'Anything else need tying up?'

'I know you're at home, Oog -- I can see your feet!'

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

Fat Kid 27- Makes a slug

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

'It'll have to come down - you failed to apply for proper planning permission...'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'