Playful Pair Gifts

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Advanced footsie

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'You may now kick the bride.'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

true love.

Rude Snowpeople

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Love.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'Shuck me.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Puppy Love

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Henry, cut that out.'