Playful Insulter Pillows

'Why are you so rude?'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

The Main Types of Cheese

'You may now kick the bride.'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Mice Cream

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

Jumble Sale

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

A woman has mini scarecrows in here flower garden.

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I know you're at home, Oog -- I can see your feet!'

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

'Anything else need tying up?'

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

Fat Kid 27- Makes a slug

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

'It'll have to come down - you failed to apply for proper planning permission...'

'Too small for Santa I'm afraid-but with a fishing rod you would be a WOW in our roof garden!'

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

At 'Appy 'Ampstead on Easter Monday.