Installing A Security System Pillows

Salesman sees house with a HUGE doggy door.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Clickbait

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"There you go Dad, now, instead of just thumping the ground, you can press the red button to raise the alarm..."

Automation of Security

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'Mr. Schmenk will see you now...IN PERSON.'

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

Safe under mattress.

Dept. of cyber friendship.

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

"We couldn't hire the cybersecurity candidate you sent us, he was saying too many scary things about our computers."

'This car has a very sophisticated security system! Your dad kicked the tire and it kicked him back.'

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

"Beware of watchdog."

"Maximum security prison"