Installing A Security System Gifts

Salesman sees house with a HUGE doggy door.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Clickbait

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"There you go Dad, now, instead of just thumping the ground, you can press the red button to raise the alarm..."

Automation of Security

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'Mr. Schmenk will see you now...IN PERSON.'

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

Safe under mattress.

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

Dept. of cyber friendship.

"We couldn't hire the cybersecurity candidate you sent us, he was saying too many scary things about our computers."

"Beware of watchdog."

'This car has a very sophisticated security system! Your dad kicked the tire and it kicked him back.'

"Maximum security prison"