Security System Enthusiast Pillows

Welcome?

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'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

CCTV in church.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Biro Security

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Automation of Security

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.