Instagrammer Pillows

"I never thought I'd be so happy to see friends foodstagramming their restaurant meals."

Food Photography

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Influence this."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"Great tights!"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

'Sure, I cam up with fire, and the wheel, but you're only as good as your last idea.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

"Not family. We prefer 'Brand'."

We need a longer selfie stick.

Astronaut Selfie.

"I've decided to have a kid."

Content Creator

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."