Instagrammer T-Shirts

"I never thought I'd be so happy to see friends foodstagramming their restaurant meals."

Food Photography

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"Influence this."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Great tights!"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

"My first video sucked. But I figure I've got 8 more chances."

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"I don't mind the punishment, Mother, but I don't want to see this on YouTube!"

'Sure, I cam up with fire, and the wheel, but you're only as good as your last idea.'

"Not family. We prefer 'Brand'."

"Bobby Linderman - now, there's a doctor."

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

"I've decided to have a kid."

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