Instagram Addict Pillows

"It's my selfie stick. But I look a lot more attractive from a distance."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"You know, there are other emojis."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Digital Fomo!

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Trick or Tweet

Ice shelfie.

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"She looks just like in your photos."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Facebook For Dogs.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"