Instagram Stars Pillows

"I was hoping for something more Instagrammable."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Superheroes take a selfie

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Elephant ass selfie.

Sistine Selfie

"Influence this."

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"That explains all the cavities."

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Modern Narcissism

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

Book Worm

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."