Instagram Stars Gifts

"I was hoping for something more Instagrammable."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Superheroes take a selfie

Lesser known greek gods,

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"I, TikTok."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

The Modern Novel.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Elephant ass selfie.

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Sistine Selfie

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"Influence this."

Creativity 2.0

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"That explains all the cavities."

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Modern Narcissism

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"These kids and their shellfies..."

Studying and technology

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

Book Worm

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."