Inspirational Talks Gifts

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Very Difficult Conversations

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

"I think I can". (train)

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

'Can I get an AAAAY-OHHH?'

Professional Couples

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

"There are too many starfish for you to save. How can you possibly hope to make a difference?"

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

"Once you've been caught in the headlights life seems somehow inexorably changed."

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

Martin Luther King.

Academics At the Beach

Truth or dare at the philosophy dept.'s lounge

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

Chicken soup books.

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."

"We have a question from an audience member, who asks: 'how do you stay optimistic during difficult times?'"

'Oh yeah? -- Well, I have a theory about you!'

Deepwater Fish

'Healing was number one, but having people undress and then them paying me was my second reason for becoming a doctor.'

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?"

"Sometimes while eating in the classroom, I think about writing a children's book, which would begin, "Once upon a time there was something called a teachers' lounge. . .'."

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself and others will believe in you!'"