Inspirational Talks Pillows

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

Very Difficult Conversations

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

"I think I can". (train)

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"

Professional Couples

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

'Can I get an AAAAY-OHHH?'

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

"There are too many starfish for you to save. How can you possibly hope to make a difference?"

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

"Once you've been caught in the headlights life seems somehow inexorably changed."

Chicken soup books.

Academics At the Beach

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

Martin Luther King.

"We have a question from an audience member, who asks: 'how do you stay optimistic during difficult times?'"

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

Truth or dare at the philosophy dept.'s lounge

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."

Tonight: Lecture on 4th Dimensional Physics and Ontological Topology. Buy Tickets Here. Sorry, fellas, but I'm going to have to see some IQ.

'Oh yeah? -- Well, I have a theory about you!'

'Healing was number one, but having people undress and then them paying me was my second reason for becoming a doctor.'

Deepwater Fish

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?"