Inspirational Coach Pillows

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"I hate performance review season."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Yoga.

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."