Self-help Coach Pillows

"There are probably a lot of great bravery workshops out there."

"Hey thanks, Mike, but I'm working on my inner self."

"I've lost my mojo."

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

"The meaning of life is being able to help yourself."

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Others will fight for you

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'