Insomniac Jester Pillows

I'd do anything for a good night's sleep. Well here's a $33,000 mattress. Hand-crafted layers of horsehair, cotton, flax and natural latex. What sucker would think overpriced horsehair would put them to sleep?! What's the number? Does health care cover it?

"I had a dream that I was awake and trying to sleep and now I don't know what's going on."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Drunk Barber

"I hate open-mike night."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Fishing Contest

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

Pin your hopes and dreams on the donkey

So I said, If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving you too much. Apparently, that's not what you're supposed to say to a traffic court judge.

'You told me I should be more affectionate, so I got myself two girlfriends!'

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

Wide-awake.

"I slept funny!"

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."