Insomniac Jester Gifts

"I had a dream that I was awake and trying to sleep and now I don't know what's going on."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Drunk Barber

"I hate open-mike night."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Fishing Contest

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

Wide-awake.

'You told me I should be more affectionate, so I got myself two girlfriends!'

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"I slept funny!"

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

Pin your hopes and dreams on the donkey

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

Life of a clown wife

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'