Insomnia Warrior Gifts

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

Think / Don't think signs.

'Can you give me a non-drowsy medication for insomnia?'

"Insomnia is nothing to lose sleep over."

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'

"I'm going to give you a bunch of literature about insomnia. Start reading it at bedtime and you'll be asleep in no time."

'How can you sleep at night?'

"I don't care if you are an insomniac. Get off my land and stop counting my sheep!"

"If you didn't constantly stop and start your counting, this wouldn't happen."

Insomniyak: 'You gotta help me, Doc! I toss and turn all night!'

"I may be awake for a while. I just dreamed that I ate an entire pound of sugar."

How to resist the urge to stab someone in their sleep.

George's invention to wake deep sleepers was proving to be successful.

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

'You can't sleep? Just pretend you're at the office.'

'My husband I haven't been sleeping so we changed from a memory mattress to an amnesia one...we're still not sleeping properly, but now we've forgotten all about it by the time we wake up.'

'I can't sleep a wink - it feels like someone's got their life savings under here.'

'I couldn't sleep so I decided to do some on-line trading.'

Bear: 'I can't sleep, so I'm going to rustle up mid-February snack.'

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

"I tossed and turned all night."

"I can't sleep, I've just read the weather forecast and I'm afraid that Cliff Richard will sing again..."

"When I drink coffee I can't sleep."

"I need something to help me get to sleep..."

Doctors to treat insomnia with sleep app rather than pills

"Do you have trouble sleeping?"

"Mastering the force was easy, but I still can't manage to get 8 hours sleep a night."

"I didn't expect them to be so lumpy."

"Oh wise puss, tell me how I can get to sleep."

Sheep eating dreamer

The Snooze Bar.

Insomnia

"Hey, honey — your sleeping is keeping me up."

"Well, that's the last of the sheep."