Insect-free Companion Pillows

'It's a symbiotic relationship. That lineman can crush quarterbacks with his bare hands...'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Canine Companion

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Rose Garden

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Hush puppy.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

A man and his dog

"I'm working from home today."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Wagging Dog

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'You're not supposed to catch them!'