Companion Pillows

"I heard they mate for life."

"See that beautiful meadow at the base of Mount Mansfield? That's where I'm going to dump you."

McHappy

"Maybe if you learned an instrument or something we could make enough to get some pie and coffee."

"You never said your parents were coming."

"Sure, it's disgusting, but it's nice to have something that needs me."

Best friends without borders.

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'What are you implying.'

Memories that still sear

Designated Walker

Man asking his friend to marry him.

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Canine Companion

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

A man and his dog

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'