Insect-free Companion Gifts

'It's a symbiotic relationship. That lineman can crush quarterbacks with his bare hands...'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

Canine Companion

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Rose Garden

A man and his dog

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

Hush puppy.

"I'm working from home today."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Dogs

Wagging Dog

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached