Quiet Companion Gifts

"Isn't it nice, Harry, that we can sit here together for a whole evening and not feel we have to make conversation?"

'Hello, I would like to talk to somebody.'

"That's what I like about hanging out with you, we can talk quietly: All my other friends are hyperactive..."

Others will fight for you

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

She required plenty of personal space.

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

Love.

"What I like most about you, Roberts, old boy, is that you don't talk back."

"Love me?"

Happy Valentine's Day

Confucius say: shut up.

Pet Hobbies

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

Computer with moon screensaver

It is the primitive joy of hunting wild creatures.

"I cherish my creamer stirring as a precious moment for quiet reflection."

Dog in the Bed.

"What are we doing today?"

"Which side do you want?"

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

"My husband took the kids to Disneyland for the weekend, so the 'happiest place on earth' is actually right here."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

To my Valentine

"I forgot to charge him."

Stimulus Hunger: 'Every now and then, Roger likes to cut himself off from all stimulus.'

'Not more 'me time'?'

Mute. It is sort of like saying "shut up," but no

'I think I need some me time.'

A candle for the deceased.

"How do I like it cut? In silence!"