Innovative Payment Fan Gifts

"We accept personal data as payment. What's your preferred brand of toothpaste?"

Elfie Stick

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."

Primordial Schmooze

"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"Factominiums."

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

'We really don't want to say goodbye. So, as a retirement gift - we're upgrading you, so we don't have to!'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

'Perfect! -- Now let's build some rest stops!'

"I'm afraid Mr. Edison is too busy to discuss your idea what you at this time. Please call again, Mr Fluorescent."

A man in a hospital bed has his ski boot act as a counterweight for his broken leg.

Chinese man has apple land on his head - which inspires him to invent gunpowder.

Wheel

'And look what happened when I turn the tablet sideways - the text swivels the right way up.'

"I think that's the newest machine replacing the new machine we just installed."

'Technology can be addictive. If the above is familiar - get help.'

Vents, real and digital.

Adaptability.

"For heaven's sake - just pass me the ketchup!"

'You're wasting your time. There's always a much faster disc burner on the market.'

Designer

"It's the new series. It'll be on the road this spring."