High-tech Fan Gifts

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

Really Early Vikings

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"It appears you have a virus."

"Hamlet today"

"All I need now is a trainer!"

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Man with candle in thought bubble, "Ideas before Edison"

"Factominiums."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

'Confusion some years before the invention of the axle.'

Fireplace Projector.

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'Mr. Wigglerum finally paid his bill but he did it by faxing us cash.'

A man jumps on a pile of papers in the Data Comprestion Unit.

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

Sugar Machine

'It's all hand made.'

'When I was young I wanted to be a poet, but we couldn't afford a typewriter.'

The first recorded e-mail message was launched in the Gobi Desert by Kikitake Suji

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."