Modern Payment Method Fan Gifts

'Cash only?! What is this, the dark ages?!'

Drive Through: Attorney, Therapy and Prayer

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

Pizza-Matic

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

"Is the hamburger innovative?"

Vents, real and digital.

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

Furniture for the age of anxiety.

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

Busker with a Card Machine

"Hey boy! Hey! Hey! Hey! Are those earbuds? Hey!!"

'Food? Do you think I'm the kind of mother that cooks?'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

'I know a trap when I see one.'

'I hear he died laughing...while texting.'

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"

Bonding in the Electronic Age

"We accept personal data as payment. What's your preferred brand of toothpaste?"

'Paul, I think that Jane and yourself might make more progress if you left your boyfriend at home.'

"Ooh, look, his first text message."

"Can I borrow your selfie stick?"

'Check, mate.'

Ruddy Bloggers!