Modern Payment Method Fan Gifts

'Cash only?! What is this, the dark ages?!'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Drive Through: Attorney, Therapy and Prayer

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

Pizza-Matic

You didn't text me that you met a guy! I couldn�t. There was no cell phone coverage. How awful. Diner. I'll say. What good is love � If you can't brag about it? Wow. Is that Shakespeare?

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

"Is the hamburger innovative?"

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

Vents, real and digital.

3...2...1...I'm Recording

Furniture for the age of anxiety.

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

Busker with a Card Machine

"Hey boy! Hey! Hey! Hey! Are those earbuds? Hey!!"

"Here's an idea, instead of you signing off checks why don't we pay people electronically?"

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

'Food? Do you think I'm the kind of mother that cooks?'

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

'I know a trap when I see one.'

'I hear he died laughing...while texting.'

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"

"We accept personal data as payment. What's your preferred brand of toothpaste?"

Bonding in the Electronic Age

"Do we accept PayPay? We accept any method that pays, pal."

'Paul, I think that Jane and yourself might make more progress if you left your boyfriend at home.'

"Ooh, look, his first text message."

"Can I borrow your selfie stick?"

'Check, mate.'