Innovation Jockey Gifts

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Computer Bore

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"Tour de Frank"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

'Okay, let's go over this again: You tell me your great ideas, I repeat them back to you, then you tell me I have a great idea and I get all the credit for it!'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

New Ideas in Business.

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'So that's his secret.'

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'He has the Big Cheese on his side - But the High Muckity-Mucks will be with us.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'He may have swallowed to much change.'

"Not in my name!"

Biotechnology in agriculture

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."