Innovation Jester Gifts

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'What's wrong now?'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Career Choices

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

Under new blame.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.